Coming Out of the Closet

Therapy

A common image that comes to mind when one hears about homosexuals or „The Gay” is that of a drag queen (men who dress up like women) or the infamous „bobby darling” who so often plagues the Indian cinema. Bobby Darling is a homosexual character often tolerated by the media due to its humorous role. However, if a general consensus were to be taken, it would be seen that most people actually believe Homosexuals to be one of nature’s perverted tricks.

I’m a 20 year old engineering student who recently came out of his closet to his family. While my friends have been quite accommodating, though not without their share of sometimes not so funny comments, the reaction I received from my family was indeed somewhat appalling. Although I had imagined that it would be hard to digest for them, it seemed that my sister was the only one willing to accommodate my true feelings. My parents, on the other hand, were extremely reluctant.

My parents are well educated and have taught me to live without prejudice towards things I may not understand, including other religions, social status etc…

However it seems that such idealistic teachings do not come without their own share of hypocrisy. A direct quote from my parents stated that

• At 20 I was too young to know my true feelings. (While this is true for me, it does not stand for those who “date” girls.)

• I’m gay only by choice and that 90% of the men have feelings towards the same sex at some point in their life. (Regardless of my slightly effeminates nature and taste which does not occur in those men.)

• I should not think about this now as it would hinder my studies and progress. Rather pay attention to it only after my sister gets married and my parents settled. (Obviously, what they conveniently forgot to mention was they expected me not to explore my own sexuality or emotions for about 5 more years.)

Most popularly believed to be a matter of choice, as a homosexual I must insist that my emotional, physical and sexual orientations have nothing to do with choice. While it is also believed that homosexuality can be overcome with therapy and hormone based treatments, no one wants to look at the actual cause. An article I read recently stated that homosexuality may be congenital and is no more controllable or alterable than Parkinson’s disease or autism which may occur at birth. Whether by birth or by choice, homosexuals are denied the right to exist openly in the society.

I have a lot of friends in both the straight and homosexual circles, including members of both sexes. Yet it seems that due to ‘our’ public image, I have often faced ridicule from co-students. It seems that no matter how much we progress or educate ourselves, the society as a whole must deny life and love to those who are ‘different’ (that is, live outside the boundaries of social definitions) due to our own insecurities.

People often show concern over the spread of HIV amongst homosexuals. While it is true that HIV is more common amongst homosexuals, I believe that it is the general intolerance amongst people which is to blame. Homosexual men especially feel the need to find a good partner. Due to its secrecy, it is more common for them to have small hookups with a lot of men in a short time span. If homosexuality were to be accepted openly, we could have open acceptable relationships with more fidelity.

Most religions says that homosexuality is a sin and that homosexuals would go to hell. What I wish to ask is that if God creates man in the image of himself and does not err, why is it that he created homosexuals? God loves us all equally and we’re all his children. Also homosexuality means loving someone of the same sex, how then do we call love a sin?

Just the fact that we survive in a straight world shows that we’re made of stuff stronger than steel. We live among you all and we (like you) cannot live without acceptance. One can only hope, that with more education, broadmindedness and a few laws to aid and support homosexuals, we can truly live up to our full potentials as free citizens of our great country.

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